The new goal in life

Now I have realized why I went to the cheaper side of life. I am done of being mad and totally Pissed off at the government and a few other people here in NY State. And came to turms that life just bites some of us in the toush eather way we go. Now that I am at total ease about some things around here I can go cheaper around here. I just talked with my one Niece and will call her back tonight. Now normally I do not get to the brink of being so mad that I am into tears that often around here and today set me off on the madder than Hell and into tears. Now I do not say this often and mark it down that I did say this is that my real parents have been devoiced for 34 years and I missed out on alot of things in my life PERIOD. The only thing I do regret out of my life is not haveing enough money to travel to see my Baby brothers after the whole thing going down. I do know that every family has the deep dark secrets out of life my family has them also. Some are not willing to stab ya in the back as much as some families are that are out there. I also told my step daughter that you better hope to God that your life is not as rotten as mine has been over the years and that I have extended my hand to ya bcuase I know what was said without saying it all. I was hopeing to have the relationship with my father under a differant name at one point in time. Now I have my chance and realized that what the Hell is in a dang last name anyway. I keped my madin name pluss my married name with this Husband without a problem. I can say that I can tell ya what happened to me will make some toes curl and then some without the first Husband at 16. So now I have a new lease on my life to go even cheaper without a problem to get the heck out of the Trailer Park that I have been stuck in for about 17 years. Trust me I can make it all work around here without help. But with todays word on what has gone on I have the Will and deturmanation to move on without the help at all. All I needed to do was talk with another person who understood my point and say it is ok get the world by the balls again kid that is how everyone raised you also. Now with some folks they will notice a huge differance in me after all of the years that they have known me. And some will day Dang it's about time also. I have already surpassed some on the being cheap anyway and I did need that. Now it is full blown I just don't give a damn on who I really hurt and I will be blunt and cheap all in the same ball once again. Today was the test and Damn it I am ready to take on the full world once again. So alot of folks will notice a differance in the blog from now on. And that I will be even cheaper than snot when it comes down to it from now on. I am out for me and screw the world from now on. At this point the only thing that I have on is the monster of my computer and that is it. I have cable for my other half and on Saturday nights for Chip Coffery for the Children that he helps out on his show. Well after this morning I can believe that my girls Mother has fed her a bunch of B.S. and she was kept in the dark on things in life. Now after 11 years of marrage I don't think I am getting a divorce from this one unless there is a totally rich Bastared out there who wants my damage goods in life. This is part of why I do not care of what others think of me and how I do things in my household also. I never realized thru my Life that I had back up also untill now with some of my family members on both sides. So alot of good things came out of today and I am appreciative of that. Now if I can get recipies and some other tips also on how others have servived in life I will try them out and not only that I will be the greatfull one eather way. As I told a person today I only have the computer on for the flipping radio and he was lucky at that. Otherwise I do not need the rest of what he was trying to sell me at all and I have been burnt out of other programs also. To get out on the net and to use the phone around here I have to keep the modem on. Otherwise the T.V. has been off since 730 this morning and I will keep it like that weather folks like it or not around here. I have perfect controle of my bills around here for the most part and I will be hanging laundery up also for the extra saveings. That is what some folks do not like about me at all is that I do not care of what is said all I know is what I do to keep up and like it. Now with some I do not care if they know if I am with child or not. Since some do not want to bother with me and thier father it is none of thier brains of how many children I have or not. It is thier loss and not mine on what is going on since they chose not to stay in contact with me.